Ben’s Super Bowl Party Invites
 



2012:


Citizens, residents, and illegal aliens,


Every year, for five years straight now, I have given you compelling

reasons to come watch the Super Bowl at our Super Bowl party. And yes,

many, many of you hear the message and come out for the cause. Or

maybe you come to mingle and socialize and eat great American foods

like guacamole and tortilla chips. But I like to think your presence

is the human ammunition aimed at combating the strands of

anti-Americanism that permeate our society.


The argument generally goes something like: watching the Super Bowl is

important for being a part of being (or understanding) America. This

year is no different. [For posterity, or for those who need more

convincing, such as you internationals unfamiliar with this "Super"

event, I've included last year's arguments at the bottom of this

note.]


So hear ye: This year America is on the brink of crushing liberty,

destroying freedom, wiping out decency and stopping Patriotism. We

need your help to continue with this great American trend by coming to

the party!


-Our congress (notably including our California Senators) has been

doing its best to destroy freedom with SOPA/PIPA legislation.


-Already, our president has stripped the Fourth Amendment of its teeth

in airport searches in an effort to curtail liberty.


-Madonna, ostensibly an American citizen, has done her best over the

past 30 years to destroy decency. And she's the Super Bowl halftime

act!


We can join our leaders in further efforts to destroy Patriotism.

Granted, it requires rooting for the Giants, a somewhat unpalatable

pastime. But destroying Patriots, just like crushing liberty and

freedom, seems to be the American way, and so sacrifices must be made.

If you root for the Patriots? Come anyway, but resistance is futile.

Miss Money* has already made up her mind which direction she is

heading, you a mere citizen cannot stop her.


As evidence of the effectiveness of your presence at the party, I will

note that since I've held this party, the Patriots have not won a

Super Bowl. So do your part. Defeat Patriotism. Together, as

Americans, we can do it!


If nothing else has convinced you yet, supposedly there will be a

commercial of dogs barking the Star Wars theme to sell German cars and

another commercial name dropping the Appalachian Trail to hawk some

sort of financial wares. Cashing in: it's All-American! Ask not what

your economy can do for you, but what you can do for Miss Money*!


*formerly known as Lady Liberty


Super Bowl Sunday, Feb 5 [note, this is in 2 weeks, not next weekend].

8493 La Jolla Shores Drive 92037.  Come over anytime starting at

2:30...Game starts at 3:30.

You are encouraged to bring a snack/dish/ beverage to share...

You are welcome to bring friends. Feel free to ask questions/ etc but

no need to RSVP



One Love,

Ben Jammin

858-740-1786

---

Appendix: previous year's arguments for why you should watch the super bowl.


2011:


American Patriots and Foreign Comrades,


For the 4th straight year, we will hold a Super Bowl party at our

place. Last year we had 75 people; let's see if we can top that this

year. Please invite your friends.


Last year I made the cogent argument that it was your duty as an

American to watch the Super Bowl. If you are American, the reasons why

are obvious- to give a few examples supporting our economy by watching

tv commercials, stoking anger toward others for both frivolous reasons

and serious ones such as rooting for the other team.


This year I make a stronger point: it is your national duty- no matter

your nationality- to watch the Super Bowl. Quite simply, you must

understand how America works. As America is currently the world's best

example of a rapidly declining power, it is obvious that there are

many take-aways to be had to prevent such disaster in your home

country. And watching the American quintessential event will give

insights into many reasons for this downfall. Take, for example, our

choice of halftime performer: the black eyed peas. They have brought

an amazing amount of lyrical frivolty (yes they wrote "Shut Up"),

vacuous emphasis on appearance (yes they hired Fergie for this express

purpose) and whore-ishness (corporate sellout) to their brief career.

If you feel the need for further expansions on this topic, I can

elaborate in person.


A note about food: There will be veggie burgers available at our

event. If you bring meat-particularly beef- to a house of 3

environmentalists you will be held responsible for the slashing and

burning of the Brazilian rainforest. Because you are. And you will be

publicly identified as such. If you think it's unAmerican to not eat

beef when you watch the super bowl, think for a second and realize

that is not the most unAmerican thing you will do that day. Namely,

you will be watching the Packers vs Steelers and you will be forced to

root for one of them.


-----

2010:


Party People,

3rd straight year, Super Bowl at my place. You can help the streak

continue. In line with what President Obama legislated last night in

the State of the Union, this year there will be at least 1, and

possibly 2 huge TVs. The spending freeze doesn't happen until next

year.


Rest assured that watching the super bowl will not help banks or Wall

Street.  You and I and President Obama all hate banks.  Especially

Wall street banks bailed out by president Bush. Aforementioned banks

nor their sympathizers will not appear at our super bowl party. It

would be unAmerican.


The game will be the best super bowl since at least last year, which

was the best super bowl since probably '08...you do the math. Peyton

is playing- it should be good. If not, at least we will watch the

commercials, which will help American businesses.


The halftime show will be the Who, which is by my count the 6th

straight halftime act that was better 30 years ago than they are

today. In the Who's case, probably 40 years or more. America loves the

British invasion. It's so American. And once is enough, so we have to

relive it. We won't get fooled again. The baby boomers have all the

money so its also good for America to play stuff they like and posture

that it is good.


Remember if you don't go to a super bowl party you're officially not

American. Half of you on this list aren't American anyway but it's a

good opportunity to observe Americans in their natural habitat.


---

2009:


Hey Kidzz,


An important time in our great nation's history is upon is. So to

celebrate, Luke, Ron and I are hosting a Super Bowl party- starting

2pm-ish next weekend (Sun Feb 1). Our event will also feature the (La

Jolla) debut of Ron's new kids' tv show, 23 minutes of muppet-like fun

to kick things off before we watch the game. When it becomes the next

Spongebob Squarepants, you can tell your kids you saw it back in its

infancy...before you saw their infancy even....


EVEN if you don't watch much football (our household has watched maybe

only a half dozen games this year to be honest), you have to gear up

for this one, it's going to be fun. Besides Ron's video, here are some

reasons to come:


*Springsteen is playing halftime! Tom Petty played one of his own

songs wrong last year but still was the best halftime act in a while

(ok Prince was also great; but anyone who thinks the Stones'

performance with Mick Jagger's decrepit limp and terrible sound system

were anywhere near the top may be denied entry). THE BOSS will likely

rock one for the ages.


*The Steelers will set the record as the winningest Super bowl team in

history when they are victorious. Yes, that said when.


*Those who like good-guy all American underdogs have an all-American

charity giving hero in Cards' Quarterback Kurt Warner. Think of him as

Brett Favre who actually makes the playoffs. A good guy and an epic

career.


*Liora will be in town and serving it up hot. Home-cookin'


*I will be serving up some tahini, hummus and chips. Home-opened.


*We will have your favorite beverage (that is, if that beverage is

Kefir or Beer)


*We're gonna have a projector (that is, if we can hook one up- let us

know if you have info on cheap rental/borrowing...)


*This Super bowl will NOT be on Fox so you don't have to watch the

jumping robot...


*If you have yet to see our tremendous beach house, this is the time...


We'll show Ron's video around 2:45. (Kickoff is 3:28pm SoCal time )-

come as early as you want to eat and drink and socialize... do if for

aMErica!